01 January 2012

Love is Blind

 Bismillahi as-salaatu was-salaamu a'la Rasoolillah

Pardon me for my poor English. Its been a while since the last time I'm writing a post using this language. =)

The wise men say, "Love is blind" and every letter of it stands true. 

Last Tuesday, Saidah came to my house after weeks we didn't get to sit down and talk.

Saidah tried her best convincing me about her current situation. Hoping that somehow I will agree with her in the so-called-topic of love. 

"Husna, what will you do if somebody confessing his love to you..and you're also having a crush on him but both of you are not mentally and financially ready for any commitment nor having intention in getting marry."

My answer would be, 

"First of all, if I am ready for marriage, I will ask him to meet my parent. But if I am not ready yet to marry, I will simply tell him that he can choose to wait for me or simply move on and try forget about me, just find another woman that suits him better. "

Saidah's eyes nearly pop out of the socket.

"OH, Its IMPOSSIBLE! There's no way that you will let him go. Both of you like each other"

I looked back at her saying,

"I just dont believe in love before marriage. I mean, if being in love is about going on a date, text messaging each till late night, lovey-dovey call saying 'I Love You, I Miss You', its just rubbish." 

Clearly she's not agreeing with my reply,

"How would you marry someone when you are not in love with him. Its just impossible to get marry to somebody that you havent met before"

Answering her question, 

"That's why in Islam we have Khitbah. The period of time for a couple that planning on marriage to get to know each others. Getting to introduce themselves with a third person accompanying. Not by wasting our time carelessly on a date or so on."

Saidah still explaining her best for me to believe that being in love is necessary nowadays. It has become a norm which everybody must have a couple. I tried to explain to her both in Arabic Language and English Language till I got nothing to say anymore but to throw some questions for her to answer. 

" Saidah, what will you benefit from this?" with a stern voice yet a smiley face plastered I asked her.

" I would be so happy and .... " she left speechless without answer.

فقط؟؟؟  means " That's it?, Is it the only thing?" .

"Okay, what if you die, what would you say to Him in the next world about how you spent your life before Him."

and I throw another question just trying to get her imagination run far away through the future. 

" What if you did'nt get to marry Mehdi in the future. And let just imagine this, you are married  to another person. One day, both of you went shopping to Marjane and suddenly you saw Mehdi just before you. Wont you feel something weird inside?"

She just shook her head  in denial.

" Well, he must be understand that I'm now married, so he wont come over me." 

"I asked her back, Though both of you shared some feeling back then?, Oh it must be difficult right?"  

The fact that I love to see Saidah being happy is far more than satisfying cause I can never feel the hardness that she's going through right now. But I couldn't agree with her choosing to be in a relationship that will only make her even farther than Allah as an escape or exit door for the problems she faced. 

Cause I simply dont want her to hurt even more. 

Teenagers always run in a circle with a dull, simple set mind in searching for true love in life. Thus, we always try to look forward meeting the right guy and the right girl for us. But what we forget is that, the teenage life that we live actually far beyond the goal that we set in mind.

I am always fail to benefit my time wisely. Nevertheless, I am trying my best to be a better muslimah day by day. There are plenty of things we havent done yet in our life and we havent done enough for Islam.

I should'nt be worrying about my future husband. But I should be worrying whether I am ready to become a good wife and a mother to my children in the future. Later then, the time will eventually come when my dear  future husband, my other half step into my life. Because He already promised me and He knows the best for me.

This is nothing as to compare to Allah's satisfaction.

I should be worrying the most whether Allah loves me or not. Does He satisfied with me? Have I done enough in pleasing Him? Have I done enough repenting all the wrongdoings and all the sins that I made before? Did I spend most of my time in searching for His bless or only seeking only for His anger?.

Is Allah satisfied?

All I'm trying try to say is that Love before marriage is not forbidden in Islam. But how we lead the love towards Allah is far more important rather than fooling around being in love carelessly and we might end up being hurt.

Dear Saidah, I couldnt give you the best answer but I stumble upon Aiman Azlan's status this morning,

Someone told me, 
"I have a boyfriend. I want to marry him but we aren't able to marry yet. Our parents won't approve."

I am with the parents on this one. Lesson: Don't start what you can't finish. Lower your gaze and protect your private parts. Practice fasting, it will be a protection for you.

Prevention is better (and much less painful) than cure.

and I really have to agree with him. ( =

p/s: I love you fillah! 


Adam said...

Sometime what we wish, it is not good for you in the long run ... that is why sometime, you don't get what you wish for ... Loving and caring is so sweet when you are already married. But when you do loving and caring before your marriage, you can't feel the sweetness of marriage because you are already sipping the sweetness of it ... Ya Allah, give us the strength and guide us through this obstacles ...